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A

Acronyms -- Find out what things like LOL, ROFL, AKAIK, and TIA mean here.

Active Hyperlink – You know how when you click on a hyperlink at a website and it changes colors?  That's 'cause it's active.  It's the one you are on.  

Active Window - when you have two Windows open at the same time, the active one is the one you have in front and are currently working in.

Address Book - An Address Book is a folder on your Hard Drive in which you place all the addresses of those nice people with whom you might care to correspond either through e-mail or the good old US Postal System.

Alt Tag – Alt is an abbreviation for the word Alternate, It’s the key on your keyboard right next to the space bar, and musically it’s the first octave above the treble staff while a Tag can be a key field in a record, the format code in a document language like HTML, a name for a file, or a piece of cardboard on a string.  You can combine the variations any way that suits you but some of the results could be a little weird.  An Alt Tag in a webpage is the text you see when you hover your mouse over a graphic or link that describes said object.

Ansi –  American National Standards  Institute, A membership organization founded in 1918 that coordinates the development of U.S. voluntary national standards. They have their fingers in more pies than you could believe. This bunch of highly suspect individuals control the technology standards for programming languages, EDI, (Electronic Data Interchange) the physical properties of diskettes, cartridges, magnetic tapes and telecommunications. If you’re really interested that is just the tip of the iceberg.

ARPANET – Believe it or not, they are the guys who started this whole mess. Way back in 1969 the U.S. Advanced Research Products Agency came up with enough cash to induce Stanford University, the University of Utah, and two campuses (or should that be campii) of the University of California to use a bunch of Honeywell 516 computers and form the Advanced Research Projects Agency Network. Thus, in one fell swoop, becoming the Adam and Eve (parents that is) of this monstrosity we call the Internet.

Arrays - click here for a FULL definition.

Attributes – in computers, file characteristics. Down on the corner they are what gets wolf whistles.

Autocorrect – Something that happens a lot when I’m typing in Micro$oft Word. I type “hte” and the moment it hits the screen it is magically converted (autocorrected) to “the”  or I type my dog’s name, “Nobe” which is pronounced Noby and on the screen it appears as Nobé.  Gee, ain’t computers the nuts?

Automatic calculation - (it's an Excel thing) – Spreadsheets keep records and stuff in logical rows and columns. When you set up a column into which you will be entering additional numbers from time to time you can set up a formula that will automatically add the value of the new numbers and change the total whenever new additions are made to the column. If that confuses the heck out of you, ask Linda. She’s smart about these things.

Autosave - “Ought-to-save” preventive addin for MS Excel, and probably some  other programs about which I know nothing.  Once you have configured it to run at a prescribed interval it will automatically save whatever you are working on whenever that time that period has expired. In short, if you have it set for a two minute interval and you’re on page 3,426 of your masterpiece and the power      goes off you’ll only lose what you typed in the last one minute and 59 seconds. (Unless lightning fried your hard drive.) 

Autotext – A. AutoText is a feature that keeps your fingers from wearing down to the nub by allowing you to store text or graphics you use frequently and recall them for easy insertion into a new document. You can store  mailing addresses. standard contract clauses, or long mailing lists for e-mails. Give each one a unique name and the next time you need it, BINGO, hit the button.

B

Backup – data copies saved on a different media. Most of us don’t learn to make them until we’ve lost about a weeks work. If you don’t, you will.  For more, see the special backup issue.

Bandwidth – Let’s cut to the meat of this thing. Bandwidth is the transmission capacity of a computer bus, your communications network, or a computer channel.  It is the measurement of the difference between the highest and lowest frequencies a given connection can handle.

Batch File – Well, y’see, it’s kinda like this, You’d like to hit a couple of keys and have the computer jump to your favorite porn sight without letting your wifey in on how you do it. Easy, write a batch file. Open your text editor and type in each command you normally use to get to that swingin party, each one followed by a carriage return, and when you get to the end of it, save it as “Go.bat” and if you didn’t mess it up the next time you feel like partying mix a tall one and, from a DOS command or the Run line in Windows, type the word Go and hit enter. Hot damn, there you are. If you’re not, don’t blame me, research.  

Bcc - Blind Carbon Copy. It’s that third field on the header of an e-mail message. Unlike the Cc…. field which will display the name of every one who’s name you stick in there, if you put it in Bcc… the only name anyone will see is that of the original recipient and their own. So don’t go thinking you can send a note to the wife  and a Bcc to the gal-friend cause the little lady will only see her own name while the lady friend will see both of them.

Beta - Perhaps for the definition of this one, I should change the name of my column to "Greek Speak" 'cause "Beta" is the name of the second character in the Greek alphabet. Which is why it figures prominently in a lot of  Fraternity and Sorority names like "Delta Beta Kappa" etc., which, in the case of my old alma mater, sounds a lot more sophisticated than "Drinka Lotta Beer."  However, along with its expertise in the alphabet game it can be an adjective as in "Beta Test" or a noun, as in "Beta Tester" which a lot of the characters on these panels are.  But, somewhere on this road to the technological revolution it adopted the additional meaning of "an untested prototype of software or in some cases, hardware" whose testing will be done, by people like all of us who don't work for the company, prior to its release to the buying public. (Then they get stuck with all the bugs.)  One would think the company might give their beta testers a free copy of the final release of the working software, wouldn't one? Don't hold your breath.

Boolean - This just means it pertains to logical values.  Logic is what computers are all about.  Think Mr. Spock.

Boolean Search Parameters - When search engines got so confusing “Ole George Boole” figured out a system of using words like AND, or, NOT, and XOR (whatever that means) to classify, clarify, or eliminate various elements in searches, thereby confusing the matter even more. To get even they named it after him. 

Browser - Internet Explorer, Netscape, Opera, or whatever.  The choice is yours.  It's one of them things geeks love to argue about.....which one REALLY is better?   

Byte – is made up of 8 bits (in the old days, a dollar) One byte holds the equivalent of one letter, a symbol $, or a punctuation mark. 8 bits for a period isn’t much but what’s a dollar worth today?

C

Cab Files - If you “explore” the CD that Windows comes on you’ll discover that the majority of the files on there look like little file folders with stuff sticking out of them. They hold compressed files and you can’t just open them and look at them, they have to be expanded to see what’s inside. If you’re using Win98 and you  want to see the contents of  Win98_04.cab you have to go to the command prompt or a DOS prompt and enter the entire command line with a “d” switch  like so,   C:\ extract z:\win98\win98_04.cab /d, or just download the latest version of  WinZip. It’ll open darned near anything including CAB files.

Cascading Style Sheet – an HTML document format approved by the World Wide Web Consortium (WWWC) Now aren’t you glad you learned that.

Cc - In the olden days BC  (before computers) if you were writing a letter to someone and wanted to send a copy to a second person or keep one for yourself you had to insert a sheet of carbon paper between two sheets of paper, crank ‘em into the old Smith-Corona and type away. This produced the original and a  “carbon copy”  ergo: Cc…   However in this modern age of technology it might be more correct to call them “Courtesy Copies.”

CDO – (Collaborative Data Objects) I’m going to admit that I stole this definition right out of the textbooks. I did it for the best reason in the world. THEY may know what the heck they are talking about, I certainly don’t. I think this one was written by a D.C. lawyer.  “A programming interface from Microsoft for accessing MAPI-based e-mail, calendaring and scheduling servers. Originally called "OLE Messaging" and "Active Messaging," CDO wraps the Enhanced MAPI library into a COM object that provides the ability to dynamically create Web pages. CDO is server oriented whereas MAPI has a client orientation.” You are welcome. 

CDONTS – Same durned thing as above only it is an SMTP version instead of MAPI and it works with NT servers.

Chain letters – If you have to ask, you deserve them. If you don’t forward them to everyone you know within the next ten minutes the sky will fall, Henny Penny will drown and your hard drive will suffer a terminal melt down.

COA - Y’know when you buy a piece of software from Billionaire Billy there is always a little label which states that you can tell it’s not pirated by checking the various colors on the side of the box and the hologram on the box and disk?  Well there you have it, short and sweet, COA is the acronym for “Certificate Of Authenticity”

Code – Did you ever hear or see the term "ASCII" used? It’s a code that computers use to represent characters (don’t know what they have against characters) Actually it doesn’t matter what code is used but programs are written in code. Programmers write "source code" after it’s compiled it becomes "object code" and when it’s ready for you and me, it is called executable code.

COM – a component in software that conforms to MS’s Component Object Model, whatever that is.

Com Ports – Communications Ports. They are what your modem hooks up to to communicate with other computers, the internet, and the blonde in the second cubicle down on the other side.

Command Line -  Billy Boy isn’t about to tell you (he made all those billions selling you a GUI) but, Windows is a “Command Driven System”  If you have any doubts (Like you doubt the veracity of the old Skipper) then all you have to do is hit <start> <run> and type in something like “msconfig” or “sysedit” and hit enter and watch what happens. GUI my aunt Fannies’ eyebrow, give it the right command and it will jump right to it.

Compacting - Just like with a trash compactor, when something gets too big on your computer, compacting it can make it smaller.  Things that can usually be compacted are email folders or databases.

Configure - applies to many things in life besides computers. It means to mold, shape, or organize something in such a way that it performs to your specifications.  Believe me, my wife has that one down Patt (little play on words there.)  (see msconfigure)

Copy - see special backup definitions.

CSS – well, it could be an acronym for Cascading Style Sheet (see above) but it also means Content Scrambling System which is a copy protection system for DVD discs. Sometimes called "Hacker’s Challenge."

Crackers - See Hackers, Crackers and Trolls

D

Database - A huge collection of data, usually arranged in fields, that you can draw lots of reports from based on different criteria.  Most of the ones you will probably see are created in Microsoft Access.

Dbase - dBASE was the first sophisticated database program for personal computers. It has been widely used since the early 1980s.

Debug – "Boss Boss, debug, debug." NOT. It means getting the kinks and errors out of a quirky program.

Deltree –  Hoo Boy, if you really want to have some fun, teach the kids this one. Deltree is an old DOS command which is still extremely handy if you happen to have an old DOS laying around.  At a DOS prompt, if you type the “D” word followed by certain “switches” which will remain unnamed, and you follow this procedure by hitting the “Enter” key, you may, with great alacrity, remove a Folder, all of the Sub-Folders contained therein, and every file within every one of those folders.  Most kids can do this intuitively.

Dialog Box – that box that pops up on your screen and gives you all those choices you don't know how to answer.  They're all different and  full of checkboxes, dropdown lists and radio buttons and usually give me a headache.

Diet Coke IV – This was a new one on me until I read an e-mail from one of the crew sent to our editor in chief the other day. It would appear to be some type of curious semi-orbit producing procedure best achieved by the mainlining of the sugar-free, caffeine-loaded version of a certain beverage produced by a multi-national company noted for it’s advertising slogan, "The Pause that Refreshes."    Really?

Digispeak – In this modern world of hyper-space, hyper-speed, hyper-dynamics it can only make sense to those of the Geek persuasion that ordinary, every day, run of the mill words are simply not going to cut it. SO?  So we digitally abbreviate every available expression in order to make it less understandable to the proletariat. (And to make it sound like we know something they don’t.) It only follows, both logically and digitally, that “by the way” becomes BTW, “In My Humble Opinion” (or Honest Opinion) becomes IMHO, and “I Wonder What The Devil Ever Made Them Ask That” becomes IWWTDEMTAT. It’s easy once you get the hang of it. IWWTDEMTAT?

DMI - Is an acronym for Desktop Management Interface, and the interface enables your software to collect information about your particular computer set-up. DMI is used to determine what software and expansion boards are installed on your computer.  For those who are not familiar with the "Tech Talk Term" Expansion Boards, they include internal modems, video cards, sound cards, in short, all those printed circuit boards which your motherboard never seems to have enough PCI slots to accommodate.

DNS - Domain Name System. A pretty straight definition is, it is a software method of  resolving your computer's location on your network or the internet. The server (you’re a client) keeps a listing of domain names and their corresponding IP addresses, those numbers like 235.126.0.21, and when you type in an address like http://www.whoopeecushion.com it runs a quick check and takes you there.

Domain - On the internet a domain is just a category for registration. If you are out there in la-la land and have all fourteen of your 2.5gig puters on a LAN (look it up) it’s the group name all of those computers call “Mommy”  If she isn’t yours you don’t get to play with the big boys.

DOS -  Disk Operating System. How does that grab you? It was the first operating for the PC, and in spite of what Wee Willie says, it is still the basis of the Windows operating system. At the intro for Windows XP I remarked to an MS Techie, “I understand that DOS is now truly a thing of the past.”  He replied, “don’t you believe it, look deep enough in XP, it’s still in there. It’s just harder to find.”  Nuff Said.

Drive Mapping – Yeah Right. Look, y’all know how when you set up a new puter and you stick in the new hard drive and you divide it into 14 partitions and when you boot up you discover that your system has named them A&B for the floppies and C, D, E, F, G, etc., etc., ad infinitum? Well, Podner, in its purest form that is “drive mapping.” The assigning of drive letters to the drives.  BUT, about 90% of the time when you hear Geeks and other assorted Nerds discussing drive mapping they are on a whole nother tack. Chances are they are talking about drives on computers on a network and their conversation has to do with assigning a different drive letter, like “Q” to their “C” drive and the same letter (Q that is) to a different drive on a different computer on the same darned network so that each time you punch up “Q” on your computer some sneaky stuff happens in the background and what actually comes up on your screen is the drive from the other machine.  Don’t ask me how it works, I’ve only tried it three or four times and I still think the results were purely accidental.

DSL - Digital Subscriber Line. Whether you realize it or not, you’re only using half of that telephone line that one of Ma Bell’s children charges you an arm and a leg for. You are using two of the four wires it contains.  Now they have finally figured out how to charge you through the nose for the other half by hooking the other two up to a $200 modem and your computer and calling it “Always On, High Speed Access.”  It does work.

Dword Value – Computerlogically, I don’t know! In a Brooklynese game of Anagrams it is what the total arithmetical of any given word amounts to, as long as your opponent didn’t get past the 4th grade at Public School #29.  Actually, it's a registry thing.  One of the registry things you shouldn't mess with if you don't know what the words mean, I guess.

E

e-Book – “Electronic Book” - Originally the e-Book was a portable electronic device into which you could download an entire book, or books, into, depending upon the gadgets’ capacity, carry it around with you and read its contents at your leisure.  Of course, it was about the same size as a book, cost more than three or four of the more costly late releases in the hard back edition, and weighed just about the same as a book. Far as I can see, the main advantage, if any, was pushing a button instead of turning a page. Hey, and it is modern technology which sure beats the heck out of impressing characters into a clay tablet with a pointy stick. 

e-Book Too (2) –  This, by any definition, is the true Electronic Book. That other gadget is just a receptacle for holding these. The electronic book is the product of some individual’s mind. His intent is to inform you. Admittedly, this desire might indicate he thinks there’s something you don’t know, would like to know, or need to know. It’s probably none of his/her business in the first place, although the fact remains it is the recorded result of his/her research, intelligence, and desire to impart knowledge. Much time and effort is expended in writing e-Books and, even though there is no expenditure for agents, editors, publishers, printers, or binderies, they do fall under the heading of “The Printed Word.” To obtain them one disposes of expendable funds. That’s fancy literary talk for “pays good hard earned cash for it.”  In that spirit, they are offered for sale. People buy them and download them to their computers.  Most people save them to disk to ward off dry rot and other computer maledictions like a hard drive crash or accidentally deleting the original download.  

EDI- (Electronic Data Interchange) The electronic communication of business transactions, such as orders, confirmations and invoices, between organizations. Third parties provide EDI services that enable organizations with different equipment to connect. Although interactive access may be a part of it, EDI implies direct computer to computer transactions into vendors' databases and ordering systems.

Embedded – could be a piece of code or a macro embedded in a document or a program embedded in ROM or anything firmly implanted in something else.

Embedded System - An "embedded system" is a specialized system that is part of a larger system
or computer.  And, since that doesn't really explain much, it is usually housed on a  single microprocessor board and the programs are stored in ROM.  Darned near anything you own that has a digital interface, your watch, microwave, VCRs, calculators, palms, even the tin lizzie (car, for the youngsters) sitting in your driveway use embedded systems. Some of them include an operating system, but bunches are so specialized the logic involved can be implemented as a single program.  In short, there's a system on a chip, you don't have to know it's there, or how it works, in fact none of the particulars involved. When it's working
right you push a button and it does its thing.

ESCD – Short for Extended System Configuration Data, a format for storing information about Plug-and-Play (PnP) devices in the BIOS. Windows and the BIOS access the ESCD area each time you reboot your computer. Note:  I plagiarized this one directly from the internet. The late Oscar LeVant, pianist and humorist, once stated, “Plagiarism is the most sincere form of theft.”  So shoot me.

Export – Colombia does a lot of it, exporting that is. There is a basic similarity with computers but it loses a lot in translation. Actually, it has to do with saving a document or file from one application into the format required by a different application. The U.S. Customs department has nothing to do with it.

External Style Sheet – External style sheets hold the settings for margins, fonts, headers, tabs and stuff for different documents. External obviously means they are outside of something. I have no idea how they got there.

F

Fdisk - see special backup definitions

File extension – those three characters following the "." at the end of a file name. They can be .exe .jpg. .asv .mp3 darned near anything. Windows knows what they mean, we don’t have to.

Firewall – Much debated applications designed to set up a “blockade” at the ports of  your computer. They keep out the bad guys. That should be enough, but there’s more. If you have a spy that managed to sneak into your computer in the hopes that it might send out all of your valuable information, TS baby. A good firewall locks up the box and neither the spy nor the info can get out. Wanna be mean? Get Ad Aware and flush that SOB.  

Firmware –  It might sound like a conflict of interest here but "Firmware" is "Software" that is written into ROM, (Read Only Memory) and ROM consists of the PROMS and EPROMS found on the motherboard of your computer which have programs and data recorded on their chips. Those programs control the operation of your computer. Actually I guess you could say that "Firmware" is a combination of hardware and software.

Folders – on your hard disk they look like manila folders except they are expandable and you store stuff like files, applications, and those .jpgs you don’t want the boss to see, in them.

Form –  Aw C’Mon. “Breathes there a man with soul so dead who’s never turned his head and said, “Man, look at the form on that.””  Now, if your talking about computers, and we were weren’t we, it is a page with lines, numbers, check boxes, and all that kind of stuff that you have to fill out or check True or False

Format - see special backup definitions

Forum –  A group or gathering of individuals, geeks, and other experts all with a single point of interest. Did you know you became part of a FORUM when you joined any of Yahoo’s chat groups?

FQDN – (Fully Qualified Domain Name) Without one of which you ain’t never gonna see the light of day on the internet. It’s really the whole domain name of a computer on the internet. Actually the FDQN consists of two elements, the host, that’s the WWW. part and the "darnedifiknow.com", that’s the domain name. Between the two of them they supply enough info to provide an IP address. That’s that 207.002.0.1 thingy that pops up every now and then.

Frames - Well, frames are a feature found in most web browsers today although some of the older browsers did not incorporate them.  The use of frames enables a web page to be displayed in a separate scrollable window on screen.  Many web sites, like ours, offer you the choice off using either frames or a non-frames version of the site as an accommodation to the user.  If you'd like to try them both go back to http://personal-computer-tutor.com/ABC.htm  and in the left hand column.  You will see the option to use frames or no frames. Try both, I did and I still don't know which I like best.

FTP – File Transfer Protocol. FTP is a one way communication with error correction. It sends files faster but does not have all of the benefits compared to lots of other protocols.